Cantidate Ai
by Shi-Chan Meows
Summary: When Akane is sadly trampled to death by fangirls... many other girls from diffent anime come and Ranma fractures a limb! Very funny! Plz R&R! **ONE-SHOT**`


"Cantidate Ai"  
  
By: Shi-Chan  
  
Rating: PG  
  
Warnings: Trampling and a bunch of scary girls. . . also minor usage of sake and yaoi implications. ^_^  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Ranma ½ or any of the other anime featured in this anime. WHY MUST YOU *EVIL* PEOPLE PERSIST IN MAKING ME SAY SUCH *EVIL* THINGS?!  
  
Author's Corner!!  
  
Shi-Chan: Kon'nichi wa and welcome to this stupid fanfic featuring me and some of my closest friends, torturing Ranma. ^_^ Please enjoy!!  
  
*****NOTE***** I am a fan of Ranma and Akane, don't get me wrong. This is just a little humor fic I wrote. Ranma+Akane forever!!  
  
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"I don't think I'll ever get married. . ." Saotome Ranma declared to Tendo Akane's father. Mr. Tendo sniffed sadly. "If only Akane were still here. . ." He said, shaking his head. Then, suddenly, he grinned. "Then how about you marry Nabiki or Kasumi?" Ranma cut the hyperactive man off with a sad smile. "No. I love only Akane."  
  
About a year ago, Akane, Shampoo, Ykou (sp?!), and Kodachi were all trampled to death a stampede of otaku-shoujos (fan-girls) coming to see Ranma the day he was rid of his curse. Dr. Tofu had looked at them, but he was too late. They were gone. The even worse part of Akane's death. . . Only three hours, two minutes, and fifty-four seconds beforehand had Ranma and Akane finally admitted that they loved each other. The day after the stampede was to be their wedding. . . but four girls and their accomplices changed that all. Shi-chan ( Me!!), V-babe, Chii-chan, and Hota-chan had been permanently jailed for organizing an international fanclub for Ranma Otaku-Shoujos. . . Oh, and also for trampling some girls to death.  
  
Ranma sighed and faced down a photo of him and Akane. . . with Akane's arms around him. . . trying to kill him. (How sweeeeeeeeeet!) "Oh. . . RANMA!!" Nabiki and Kasumi yelled from downstairs. "Errgh. . . what now?!" Ranma muttered, going to see what Akane's evil sisters wanted. (No. . . actually, Nabiki's cool! I just don't like Miss Goody-Two-Shoes Kasumi. . .)  
  
As Ranma reached the kitchen, he saw Nabiki and Kasumi sitting at the table with a little black haired, violet eyed girl, only about twelve years old. "Hello, Saotome-san." The little girl said. "Nani (What). . . doushite (Why). . . who are you?" He asked, confused.  
  
"Konnichiwa (Hello. . . if you didn't know this, you should feel kinda stupid). My name is Daidouji Tomoyo (For all you dubbie fans: Madison Taylor), and I am from the manga/anime called 'Cardcaptor Sakura' (Cardcaptors)." She annoyed curtseying. "The news is spreading throughout many anime/manga. . . that you are single. I decided I'd come to forewarn you. . . many girls are going to come and seek you here in place of your lost love, Saotome-san."  
  
Ranma cocked and eyebrow and began walking away. "Nabiki, Kasumi, this is definitely one of the more weird pranks you've tried to pull, but forget it. No one will replace Akane." He told them, disappearing up the stairs. Kasumi placed her coffee on the table, shaking her head. "He's going to have to deal with it anyways. . ." Tomoyo looked at Akane's older sister questionably. "Dou. . . doushite?" Nabiki smiled. "The other girls have already arrived, and we told them to just wait in Ranma's room." She told the little girl. "Ah. . ."  
  
Ranma kicked off his shoes tiredly. 'I really miss Akane. . .' He thought, as he turned the doorknob to enter his room.  
  
"Nihao Ranma-chan!!" Came about thirty female voices. Ranma's eyes widened as he saw a mob of cute girls completing screwing his room up. "NABIKI! KASUMI!" Ranma screaming angrily, while being pounced upon by half the girls.  
  
Nabiki scratched her head. "I guess he found the girls. . . Tomoyo-san, you should go home. You don't want to be caught up in this mess." Tomoyo smiled and curtseyed once again. "Good luck to you two." She told them, getting up and going, leaving Nabiki and Kasumi to be scared, and go see Ranma.  
  
About when the pair reached Ranma's room, the door flew open, revealing an unconscious Ranma, a wildly giggling Ryoko, a bouncy Minako (Mina), and Belldandy squealing, "Oh. . . my. . ." Nabiki and Kasumi exchanged disturbed glances as they peered into Ranma's room.  
  
"Wanna fight?" Someone was yelling in the midst of the mess, and Misty was yelling in reply, "No! I wanna see Ranma." Meanwhile, Washu was chasing Relena so she could attempt to perform a fatal experiment on her, Bulma and Ashia were arguing over who's tube top was cuter, Usagi and Chibi-Usa were strangling each other, and a few, well. . . a *lot* of other scary things were happening. Nabiki and Kasumi swallowed, realizing that these girls were signing the pair's death warrant, and Ranma would be the one to carry it out, when suddenly, Ranma awoke. "Nightmare. . . girls. . . everywhere. . . I want. . . Akane. . ."  
  
Kasumi held Ranma up to standing position and told him gently, "This isn't a nightmare, Ranma."  
  
Nabiki shifted a little so she wasn't in Ranma's view of his room, and now he could fully see the disaster inside.  
  
Ranma went into a shocked state as some girls pounced on him, screaming, "Ranma!!!!" Then. . . it went silent. That is, until Washu began speaking. "Hello, Ranma. I am Professor Washu, but please, just call me Chibi Washu."- She smiled and pointed to the girls-"Not then, I'll introduce everyone. The evil looking one with the silver hair is my daughter, Ryoko. The annoying blonde there is Minako, AKA Sailor V, then the brunette goody-two-shoes is the Goddess Belldandy. The orange haired twelve year old is Misty, she's a Pokémon trainer, and the ugly blonde princess crying, 'Heeeeeeeeero!!' is Relena. The blue haired chick is Bulma Brief, and with her is the Gitaro Gitaro (sp?!) Ashia. Then over there in kimonos are Sasuka, a bounty hunter, and Botan, a spiritual detective. The girls in that corner playing video games would be Usagi, a princess from the moon, Chibi-Usa, Usagi's daughter, and Kiyone, a Galaxy Police detective. There's also the dark girl with bleach blonde hair, Adachi Momo, and the leech attached to her is Okayasu Kiley, and the leech trying to pull Kiley off of Momo is Sae. Then there's Ruby Moon, with the butterfly wings, who's watching everything in amusement. . . and some unimportant people." Washu explained, beaming at her wonderful and unlimited knowledge.  
  
Meanwhile. . . "Where's my stupid nail file?!" A little gray kitten screeches, digging madly through her Barbie doll sized Hello Kitty vanity. "I can't bust them outta jail without it. . ." She groaned. Suddenly, her red eyes widened happily. "Ah, ha," She cried finally, yanking out a small pink nail file. "Now they're as good as out." She said, dashing down the street to find the local jail.  
  
"Psst! Shi-chan! V! ONE OF YOU!!" The kitten screamed from the window of one of the jail cells. V-babe was the first to notice her. "Diana!" She cried happily, petting the kitten through the barred window. Shi-chan, Chii- chan, and Hota-chan had all gotten up and were standing by V now. "I've gotta file that'll bust you outta here!" Diana told the girls. Hota proceeded in straightening her mini sailor skirt, then asked, "Yeah, and why couldn't you have brought this a year ago, when we were arrested?" Chii- chan, who was wearing a tight, black kimono with red flames, nodded. Diana got a sweat drop and replied unsurely, "Ah. . . I couldn't. . . find it. . .?" The four girls got sweat drops, and then Shi-chan, wearing her black priestess' outfit, began filing at the bars on the window.  
  
"Ranma, play a video game with me!" Bulma suddenly cried, shoving Usagi, Chibi-Usa, and Kiyone away fiercely, then grabbing Ranma. "I, ah, don't like-" Ranma's reply was cut off by Ryoko, who had been drinking a *little* too much sake. "Uh-uh! Ranma. . . How 'bout ya"-She paused to hiccup-"Come demon huntin' with me. . ." Ryoko grinned, only half realizing she was even speaking, and succeeding in scaring the Chinese boy.  
  
Three hours, six minutes, and thirteen seconds later, the girls were still fighting over what Ranma was gonna so, and Shi-chan had finally sawed through the first bar on the window.  
  
Seven hours, twenty-one minutes, and forty-six seconds later, Ranma had successfully fractured a limb and was being thrown around the room, while Shi-chan had finished sawing through the second bar.  
  
Ten hours, fourteen minutes, and fifty-nine seconds later, the girls were fighting over an unconscious Ranma, and Shi-chan sawed through the final bar.  
  
"Alright! We're out!" Chii-chan cried, bouncing around in the small jail cell. V-babe stood up from her bunk and fluffed out the skirt on her strange pink and blue outfit. (Think Ryoko. . . the beginning of Tenchi Muyo!) "Let's go!" V-babe said, jumping through the window and picking up Diana. Once everyone was out, the girls began running for the Tendo Training Dojo.  
  
Ranma had woken up five minutes ago and was already being poisoned by some scary food that Usagi and Chibi-Usa had made. "Kami-sama. . . help. . . me. . ." He whispered, praying he would live through this.  
  
Shi-chan, V-babe, Chii-chan, Hota-chan, and Diana rushed down the streets happily, when suddenly, Shi-chan stopped. "What dija stop for?" Hota-chan asked. Shi-chan grinned and a little transparent laptop appeared in front of her as she began typing madly on it. "Why run when *I* can create a dimensional portal leading us straight to the Tendo Dojo??" Shi-chan asked. The other four nodded in agreement. "Hey girl, that light bulb flickered on for a moment!" Chii-chan teased.  
  
Five minutes later, a huge, dry, square well appeared. "Doesn't that look familiar?" V-babe asked. Shi-chan shrugged, and the trio and the kitten jumped in.  
  
"Oof!" Hota-chan said, getting up out of the well, closely followed by Shi- chan, V-babe, Chii-chan, and Diana. "I don't think this is the Tendo Training Dojo. . ." Diana whispered. V-babe gulped. "We're in a big, scary forest. . . I knew there was something strange about your portal! This place is oddly familiar too!" She cried angrily. Shi-chan got a sweat drop and glared at V. "So I'm no Washu! Give me a *break*!!" The brunette girl whined. "Shh!" Hota-chan whispered, "I hear voices!" Chii-chan rolled her eyes. "And they don't like you. Yeah, yeah, we've all heard that one, hon." Hota-chan narrowed her eyes at her sarcastic friend. "No! I mean tha-" She trailed off as a pink, black, white, and blue blur flew right in front of the group's faces, then stopped near them. "Kagome! Where do you sense the Shikon Shard?!" A demon-like man yelled. The girl with him, obviously Kagome, replied angrily, "Will you be patient, Inu-Yasha?! I'm trying to figure that out!" The demon, Inu-Yasha, sighed in an annoyed fashion.  
  
"Uh, Shi-chan?" V-babe said. Shi-chan turned around to face the blonde. "Huh?" V-babe gritted her teeth and began choking me. "WRONG PORTAL YOU NIMWIT!" She screamed, causing Inu-Yasha and Kagome to turn around. "Who the heck are you? You've got the Shikon Shard, don't you?!" Inu-Yasha demanded angrily, dashing at the girls and their little kitten.  
  
The girls screamed and ran off, jumping back into the well, hoping Inu- Yasha and Kagome wouldn't follow and kill them.  
  
As they jumped out of the opposite side of the well, the group observed their new surroundings. These would consist of: As explosion in the corner followed by Ruby screaming in pain and Washu laughing evilly, Ashia trying to kill Usagi for taking the last rice cake, Ryoko and Kiyone, who had drank to much sake singing 'Your Hiroshi' (That's a cool song! It's on the Tenchi Muyo! soundtrack.), Momo being trampled by Sae, who was being trampled by Kiley, Bulma and Chibi-Usa screaming, and yanking Ranma around, and Misty, Sasuka, and Botan playing Smash Bros on the N64.  
  
"We're definitely in Ranma's room this time." Diana announced. V-babe rolled her eyes and replied mockingly, "Ya know, Di-chan, you're really good at stating the obvious." Diana grinned in response.  
  
"Ooh, RANMA!" The five yelled in union. Everyone stopped what they were doing and stared at the group. Ranma's eyes grew wide with fear as he took in the image of the group standing before him. "No. . . no. . . not them. . . NOOOOOOOOOO!!!" He screamed. The four girls and the cat grinned. "Ranma. . . we're offended."  
  
V-babe, Chii-chan, Hota-chan, Diana, and Shi-chan were about to leap on Ranma when Relena ran by crying, "Heeeeeeeeerrrrrroooooo!! Save me!" Right on Princess Peacecraft's heels was Washu. "Aw, c'mon Princess! The experiment may be poisonous, but not fatal!" The pink haired genius was yelling after her.  
  
Suddenly, out of nowhere, Duo appeared and pounced on Relena. "No, my koibito! Not yours!" He hollered as they rolled out the window fighting.  
  
". . ." Everyone was silent, scared, and then Hota-chan yelled, "ANYWAY!" And the four girls and the kitten finished jumping upon Ranma. Within seconds, he was tied up, and the five were giggling insanely.  
  
"What happening here?!" A female voice demanded, suddenly walking in. Ranma struggled a moment, then broke through the ropes, jumping up and running to the newcomer. "You! You! I'll marry you just as long as all these girls *leave*!!!" He screamed madly, grabbing the girl and running off.  
  
Everyone stood dumbfounded a moment after Ranma ran off. " Wasn't that. . . Mihoshi?" Kiyone asked no one in particular. Everyone nodded and Kiyone sighed. "If he wanted to die enough to marry her, he should've just stayed here. . ." She muttered, shaking her head. Shi-chan grinned. "Well in that case, he shouldn't mind much if we go *visit* him!!" She yelled, running in the direction Ranma and Mihoshi ran, quickly followed by the other girls and the kitten. (Dun dun dun dun)  
  
An hour later, Ranma and Mihoshi were married.  
  
Two hours later, Mihoshi blew up the kitchen while trying to brew tea, and Ranma is screaming in pain as she pours the whole bottle of peroxide on his wounds from the incident.  
  
3 hours later, the girls and cat arrive, and screams can be heard throughout everyone's computer and all the anime/manga in the entire world! MWAHAHAHA!!!  
  
"Well, I tried to warn him." Tomoyo said, sipping the coffee that Kasumi had made for them. "Right. So it's only his loss." Nabiki agreed. Kasumi smiled and asked them, "More tea?"  
  
The End. . . Or Is It. . .?  
  
Author's Corner!!  
  
Shi-chan: Okay, another fanfiction finished! Please review!! So tell me, sequel? Or a spinoff?? Another one just like this but with a different anime? Please give me your opinions, and feel free to e-mail me. I'm SeiyaGal3@aol.com. And yes, I've got AIM.  
  
Ranma: No, please! Tell her no! That story was sooo evil! PLEASE SAY NO!!  
  
Shi-chan: *gags Ranma* Oh, shut up you! *smiles* Bye bye!  
  
~Shi-Chan Meows~  
  
=^o^= 


End file.
